난 너를 원해 너만 원해 니가 미워도
가슴속에 기억 속에 I wanna be your only love
솔직히 말해 너만 원해 눈물이 나도
어쩔 수 없어 없어
I’m feeling like I stalk and love. . .

♬ 효린 – 스토커

有人说我很笨。
对，说得好。我真笨。所以，无言。

只有笨的人才会拼了命，用尽所有的努力，想办法
为了只是去见一个或许根本不想见到自己的人。
每当到了那里，大家都问，为什么一直来这里呢？- 这问题其实我很讨厌。
想要说是来找朋友的，不过事实上，我们之间连“朋友”这关系也说不上。
如果说是，来找偶像的。。这样我会不会太像疯狂粉丝了啊？
算了。。或许大家也都认为我疯了，就这样。
这段夹在陌生人与朋友之间的莫名关系，执着了好久，好累。

对那个不想见到我的你：
对你好是心甘情愿，所以不会奢求什么。
我只能说，所有的事和话都是真心的。虽然有时是故意气你的 >-<
但你，每次都让我好怀疑。。
你所做的，说得，是否也有一次是真心的。。
有时就算知道是谎言，难过之后，还是傻傻的当做是真的。
如果对我好，只是敷衍而已，那其实你不必再这样做的。
如果假装关心和在意只是为了所谓的“粉丝福利”，那我宁愿不要。
如果真的有那么讨厌就应该早说吧，不要一直假装，这样我会更难过。
因为每当想起你对我的“好”，总觉得好不真实。

有时真的很想坦白，不过，真的很难。。。
第一不是韩国人，第二韩文不好，第三长得太丑，身材也不好。。
这三大理由以足够让我放弃告白的勇气。
因为我们之间就像天使与恶魔之间那样的距离。。

接下来这两年，虽然会很艰苦，不过，请好好的过。
虽然承诺过会等，也很想遵守这约定，
但既然你那么讨厌我，那我就从现在开始消失吧。
我知道有很多人也承诺过会等你，所以少了一个应该不差吧。

下次如果再碰面，感觉会像两个陌生人一样吧。。

这段快接近两年的时间，打扰了你很多，让你觉得很烦很生气，
很感激也非常抱歉。
不能好好道别，是个遗憾。
再见。

오랜만에 이 블로그...


내 마음에 늘 생각하는 그 사람이야... 
요즘은 잘지내시죠...?
그리웠어..정말ㅠ..
이제 볼 수 있다면 좋을텐데... 

항상 너를 슬프게 만들고있어 너무 미안해...
근데..너몰라..
이렇게 하려면, 나는 더 슬픈 느낀다...흑흑 -


even if it's a lie, I still chose to believe it in the end.

편지에서 내가 거짓말을 했어.
미안..
내가 바보 ㅠ


사실은...

넘 보고싶다 !! 완전 ! 보고싶어 죽겠으니까.
그래서...
빨리 다시 만나게 바래요 ! ㅠㅅㅠ

네 손이 너무 따뜻하네요..
다시 잡고 싶어요...
작별 인사를 포옹 또...ㅠㅠ


모두것...난 영원히 기억할게요...
고맙다.

JUNGSEUNGHYUNIMISSYOU.

i've just miss someone whom i shouldn't have.
i've just sacrifice my freedom, time, youth, and money on someone whom i shouldn't have.
i've just think of someone whom i shouldn't have.
i've just set my eyes on someone whom i shouldn't have.

perhaps.
i've just fell in love with someone whom i shouldn't have.
a person whom i won't get a single chance to love.
but yet, i didn't regret till now.


thank you for being nice all the time or rather when you're infront of me.
although it's hard for you to be true, still, i always believed in it.
because our status were different, i know.
but i wanna stand at the same level as you. i really want to.
until then, i'll continue to work hard.

to see you, i'll always try my hardest.
i don't need you to do anything. just stand at the same position will do.

公平这两个字。。。。该这么判断。。












我不懂。。。

4 days passed...life seems tougher and tougher now..
sudden break-off from seeing you after almost a month...
everyday, i just feel like dying.. ㅠㅠ
when will i see you again...?

i don't know how long this feeling will last..
i don't know how much i can sacrifice for you..
i don't know how hard it will be to see you..

And even if i know,
i cannot be good enough..
i cannot be pretty enough..
i cannot be as smart as others..
i cannot speak perfect Korean like others,
i will not have the courage to confess at the end...

but, i'll show you with actions...

even if i'm being treated like this... i'm willing to...

perhaps you won't even know... ultimately..
I just miss you, that's all.
my boy ~ >-<)/♥